Sorrow is food swallowed too quickly
Issue #5
Hello again from The Gloom Tribune, a griefy newsletter that highlights events, support, education, links to articles, art projects, short writings, and whatever we collectively dream up — all of a grief-y nature. Grievers and grief workers alike know that the grief umbrella is … large. Abundant. And so I hope the depth and breadth of what I include here will also feel expansive and inclusive. Comfortable in its all-encompassing-ness for as many of us as possible.
And despite the moniker I’ve chosen, grief is not only gloom. And so this will also not only be gloom. Thank you for joining us from wherever you are in your grief process.
If you have a ‘something’ you think would fit within these pages, so to speak, please feel free to submit your ideas here.
Quick links for this issue:
Writing your therapist bio workshop 12/1
Look, I know it’s gauche to start with my own offerings, but here we are.
MLCWC Presents: Writing Your Therapist Bio — Hosted by Lori Zaspel
Thursday 12/1 from 6-7:30 pm EST via Zoom. $45 non-members/$35 NASW members/$20 program only. Once registered and paid, you will receive a Zoom link to join. The goal is to demystify the bio-writing process, learn best practices, and get started on a bio you feel comfortable putting on the internet.
What to expect:
Overview of the literature and relevant takeaways
Best practices as well as common missteps
Examples from other providers so we don't reinvent the wheel
Writing prompts to help uncover and refine your ideas
1:1 time with a peer to provide feedback and perspective
Lots of levity
This workshop is co-sponsored by NASW-PA and approved for 1.5 CEs for (LCSW, LSW, LPC, LMFT, etc). To receive credits, a link will be sent to you after the training with an evaluation form to complete. NASW-PA will email certificate once eval is completed (usually within 10-14 days). You can register here.
Rituals for hard holidays
You don’t have to click through to a bio though, it’s just right here: https://www.lorizaspel.com/writings/rituals-for-hard-holidays
Whether it’s your first holiday season or your fifteenth, this can be a trying time for grievers. If you feel inclined to skip the whole thing, let this writing be your permission. You are not required to celebrate.
Let’s say that you do want to celebrate, but are unsure how. One way to include your dead person(s) is through ritual. These rituals can be collective or individual, or a combination of the two. While it can feel awkward to invite others to join us in ritual, especially new ones, awkwardness in my opinion in no way takes away from the potential power and importance. If it’s your first time considering such a thing, I invite you to lean into the discomfort and see the beauty in the asking.
I have compiled and created a long list of ideas for you to consider to create your own holiday ritual. If you feel inclined, please add your own! Get creative. You could consider one of the winter ritual kits my friend Tara is offering here. As she says, “Grief and despair are inextricably linked with hope.” And sometimes things end up becoming about grief even when we didn’t expect it.
Participate in research about important terminology! The ThanaLab is studying sentiment around terms like “Death Doula,” “End of Life Guide,” “Death Midwife,” “Death Companion,” and more. Please take this survey whether you are familiar with these terms or not, and share with others to help the ThanaLab reach a diverse audience.
https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/deathdoula
The ThanaLab is an independent research lab housed at the School of American Thanatology and holds Cole Imperi's thanatological research and related projects. This study is the result of an interdisciplinary workgroup. The workgroup anticipates releasing an open access paper which shares their findings as well as data from this survey. The creator of The Gloom Tribune is not affiliated professionally with this group in any way, just supports and is curious about the research.
The difference between grief support and grief therapy
As a LCSW and death doula, the title to this section is one that often gives me pause. What’s the dang difference? Just because I have a load of student debt and some letters behind my name, I’m magically more attuned to grief? Umm, no. But licensure and education don’t mean ‘nothing’ either, and reflect work, study, self-reflection, and learning into which I put a great deal of effort. The anti-capitalist in me struggles with so-called professionalization and protected terms — I don’t want to own the terminology for anything tbh — but I also see stories all the time that reinforce how important it is for there to be distinctions which communicate to potential recipients of services what training and expertise someone has. For instance: I recently became aware of a TikToker whose initially licensed therapist became unlicensed because the therapist was stealing her clients’ identities! And then kept practicing! Lied to her clients and said it was just a technicality. The mind boggles.
This article is an interesting place to continue turning this around in my mind. (Link goes to the problematic AF Psychology Today, so please forgive me.)
I find this paragraph especially important:
It’s important to note, however, that many clinical, medical, counseling, and social work programs don’t offer extensive training in grief therapy despite these being major reasons for why people pursue therapy. As a result, grieving people need to look for or inquire about a clinician’s training with grief and be skeptical of generalized approaches that suggest short-term solutions or rational problem-solving.
What do you think? Have you received professional (paid for) grief support and/or grief therapy? What differences did you notice, or did you notice any?
I’m going to my 20-ish high school reunion and nothing has made me feel so close to death in quite some time. I’m a cliche!
Intro to advance care directives 12/4
https://www.motherwortandrose.com/payments/p/advancecaredirectiveworkshop
Death care is for everyone, and this workshop is for anyone, at any stage of life, looking to make end of life care plans in community. In this participatory workshop, participants will explore the use of advance care directives such as 5 Wishes for creating and communicating end of life care to our loved ones.
Participants will have time to ask questions, share concerns, feelings, ideas, and reflect on their experiences being present with death and the end of life journeys of their loved ones and community, and navigating conversations about end of life care.
Participants will be invited to create their own 5 Wishes document, and there will be time set aside to work on them together during the workshop.
“Sorrow is food swallowed too quickly, caught in the throat, making it nearly impossible to breathe.”
― Jesmyn Ward, Sing, Unburied, Sing